Reading time: About 4 minutes

Do you want to improve your sentence structure? Here are seven types of sentences that you should eschew….

I like reading text that sounds as if the writer is speaking to me. I also like watching ice skating that looks as though it is effortless. And I enjoy hearing music that makes me think of melody and beauty rather than the thousands of hours of practice the musician must have spent.

What am I saying? If you catch my drift, I’m trying to tell you that writers who sound as if they’re speaking to you don’t achieve that end by simply transcribing. They do it with careful, diligent editing.

Early drafts of their work likely include the seven mistakes below, but you can bet that they edit them out quickly.

Check your writing and do the same: 

1-Sentences beginning with prepositional phrases 

Here are three examples of sentences beginning with prepositional phrases:

• By 3 p.m., all the runners should be finished. 

• In June 2024, when we reduced the requirement for a hefty down-payment, some managers warned the decision would bankrupt the company. 

• After Spring Break, we return to classes. 

We can argue about whether the information given in the prepositional phrase is necessary, but here’s my rule: if you need to include the phrase, put it later in the sentence. Like this:

• All the runners should be finished by 3 p.m. 

• We reduced the requirement for a hefty down-payment in June 2024, and managers warned the decision would bankrupt the company. 

• We return to classes after Spring Break.

Do you see how this restructuring makes each sentence faster and more interesting to read?

2-Sentences with unclear antecedents 

Many writers use “it” or “this” to refer, rather vaguely, to an idea or concept from a previous sentence. Here are three examples:

• I was following my plan. It was productive, easy, fun and fulfilling. 

• Having a daily schedule is a good idea. But it’s not necessary to follow it religiously. This is counterproductive.

• A solid business plan allows us to celebrate how far we’ve come. This helps us maintain energy when we really need it. 

Sure, the reader can probably deduce what the writer meant by “it” and “this.” But why force them to do that work? Here’s how to rewrite those sentences: 

• I was following my plan. The work was productive, easy, fun and fulfilling. 

• Having a daily schedule is a good idea. But it’s not necessary to follow it religiously. This obsession with rules is counterproductive.

• A solid business plan allows us to celebrate how far we’ve come. This focus helps us maintain energy when we really need it. 

Bonus tip: Do a search for “it” and “this” in your text (Control + F), and make sure your meaning is 100% clear each time you use either word.

3-Sentences using the passive voice 

I don’t believe the passive voice is universally bad. (Read this article by Geoffrey Pullum if you want to learn the upside of the passive.) But you should use the passive deliberately to achieve a specific goal. Here are three examples of sentences in passive voice, where the actor of the sentence doesn’t appear until after the verb: 

• The entire stretch of highway was paved by the crew. 
• A safety video will be watched by the staff every year.
• The whole suburb was destroyed by the forest fire. 

And here they are again, as active. Aren’t they easier to understand this way? 

• The crew paved the entire stretch of highway.
• The staff is required to watch a safety video every year.
• The forest fire destroyed the whole suburb. 

Bonus tip: Run your text through the Hemingway App to identify the passive. (The app will highlight it in bright green.) Just ignore the app’s red and yellow highlighting of long sentences. The Hemingway App treats every long sentence as a problem, which we know to be untrue.

4-Sentences over-using the verb “to be”

Writing coaches and teachers will often challenge their students to write an entire piece without using the verb “to be.” Hard work, but not impossible. Take these sentences as examples:

• There is no method that is guaranteed to succeed.
• There are many weeds that overwinter.
• There will be many who disagree.

Delete the state-of-being verb and you’ll produce a much shorter, sharper sentence:

• No method guarantees success.
• Many weeds overwinter.
• Many will disagree.

I’m not suggesting you ban “to be” from your vocabulary. But use it minimally, and you’ll produce better sentences.

5-Sentences using the word “thing”

I sometimes use the word “thing,” but I’m working to stop myself. Others seem to embrace this vague, tired, imprecise word. Examine these sentences:

• The only things she still needed were the tent, a sleeping bag and dry shoes.
• The box was filled with things from his childhood.
• The committee’s proposal was a good thing.

Then, make them more precise:

• The only gear she still needed was the tent, a sleeping bag and dry shoes.
• The box was filled with keepsakes from his childhood.
• The committee’s proposal was a good compromise.

Also, never use the phrase “the thing is.”

The thing is, he just doesn’t understand.

Instead, express the same idea with a much more meaningful word: “truth.”

The truth is, he just doesn’t understand.

Or delete the phrase altogether: He just doesn’t understand. 

6-Sentences using the phrase “the fact that” 

You never need this phrase. Just delete it. Here are a few examples:

• I hate the fact that my editor always uses a red pencil on my work.
• The fact that the bank clerks are always so slow frustrates me.
• I appreciate the fact that my favourite movie always wins an Oscar.

See how easy it is to eliminate it:

• I hate the way my editor always uses a red pencil on my work.
• The slow attitude of bank clerks always frustrates me.
• I like the way my favourite movie always wins an Oscar. 

7-Sentences using unnecessary exclamation points — like this! 

I just learned that more than 50% of U.S. President Donald Trump’s social media posts contain exclamation points. If that isn’t enough to scare you off the practice, let me remind you of the rule. Never use an exclamation point to jazz up a sentence. Exclamations should be reserved for true exclamations such as “Wow!”, “You’re kidding!” or “Duck!” If your sentence is funny or interesting enough, it won’t need the exclamation mark.

An earlier version of this post first appeared on my blog on Apr. 24/18.

If you liked this post, you’ll also like, How to stop torturing your readers with boring writing.

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Need some help developing a better, more sustainable writing or editing routine? Learn about my three-month accountability program called Get It Done. There is turn-over each month, and priority will go to those who have applied first. You can go directly to the application form and you’ll hear back from me within 24 hours.

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My video podcast last week addressed the value of having a writing model. You can watch the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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Is there any type of text you always edit to improve your sentence structure? We can all learn from each other, so please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the comments section, below. If you comment on today’s post (or any others) by Feb. 28/25, I’ll put you in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To enter, please scroll down to the “comments,” directly underneath the “related posts” links, below. You don’t have to join Disqus to post! Read my tutorial to learn how to post as a guest. (It’s easy!)

Viewing time: 4 mins. 50 secs. 

The Write Question is a weekly video podcast about writing that I started in 2017 and that ran, more or less weekly, until April 2022. This is a republication of issue #134, which discusses how to make editing less painful. The post first ran on April 3/20.

Transcript:  

Have you ever wondered how to make editing less painful? That’s the topic I’m addressing today in The Write Question. I’m Daphne Gray-Grant, the Publication Coach. 

I have a question from Emma White, a writer based in Oxford, Ohio. Here’s what she asked by email…. 

“The more I write, the more I realize how much of the technique of producing good work is through iterating and editing. I struggle with editing since I feel I can do it all day as I am dyslexic, and I fear it is a weakness. I am familiar with John McPhee’s theory of not expecting anything great until draft number four, but how do I balance sticking to editing if I would rather be writing and seeking novelty?”

Thanks for your question, Emma. You’re making me think of a statistic I often quote. Some 80 percent of the people I work with love editing and dislike writing. But the remaining 20 percent are like you: they love writing and dislike editing. 

But ‘dislike’ is way too mild a word. Hate. Abhor. Loathe. Detest. Despise. All of those words would be much closer to the truth. 

I wish I could tell you why this was so, but I suspect it’s genetic. Asking me to explain it is like asking why I was born a short brunette. 

But just as hair dye could turn me into a redhead or a blonde, I think my suggestions could help you become a happier editor. Here’s my advice: 

1. Stop thinking of editing as boring and repetitive. Instead, see it as a chance to make your writing more appealing for your readers. View your editing self as a superhero who’s going to save the world from boredom and confusion. This is about way more important stuff than fixing spelling and grammar. This is about meaning. And interest. There’s nothing dull about that!
2. Take a good long break before editing. For long-form projects like books or dissertations, I suggest people take six weeks. For more deadline-oriented stuff, like blog posts or essays, I suggest allowing at least a couple of days. If you are too close to the material, you won’t be able to edit it effectively. You need some distance and perspective before you can do the job well.
3. Approach editing with very specific goals in mind. Many people simply read and re-read their text with the vague hope of making it better. This is frustrating and unrewarding and usually ineffective.
4. Do a substantive or developmental edit first. This is an edit in which you address the content. Have you explained everything clearly and convincingly? Have you answered all the questions your readers are likely to have? Is your material in the best order? Is it interesting and engaging enough? Here’s a quick way to remember what substantive editing is all about: It is almost entirely analysis-based and it requires judgement, not just the application of rules.
5. Last of all, copy edit. Copy editing is all about applying rules and you can use your computer to help you. In the notes below, I include a link to a blog post I’ve written on how to make copy editing more successful.

One additional tip might make a big difference for you, Emma. Figure out what time of day is best for you. Whenever I have to do something I’m not very enthusiastic about, I know I need to do it before 11 am, and even earlier might be better. But we’re all different, so identify the time that’s going to work best for you. 

And remember to give yourself a reward for finishing — perhaps a specialty coffee of a chunk of really good chocolate. 

Finally, let me wrap up with a quote from the poet and essayist T.S. Eliot: “Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.”  

Emma, editing is hard work for some people. But don’t make it worse for yourself by dreading it. Resolve to find whatever enjoyment you can by approaching it as a reasonable and doable task. 

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If you’d like to learn more about how to make writing a happier and more rewarding process, check out my latest book Your Happy First Draft. I don’t sell it in bookstores or via Amazon. The only place to buy it is on my website, link below.  

Links 

Your complete self-editing checklist

Your Happy First Draft 

Reading time: About 3 minutes

Most of us don’t like criticism, but as writers, we need to learn how to be edited. Here’s a great trick for making negative feedback positive….

When I was writing stories for a national magazine, many years ago, I had one editor who particularly irritated me.

What she did to my stories didn’t bother me. In fact, she was mostly pretty hands-off. Nor was she rude, full of herself or overly assertive — all traits that can get under my skin. Instead, she was sweet and rather quiet. So, what was her big sin?

She was embarrassed about editing. Embarrassed, not embarrassing.

She felt reluctant to suggest changes to my stories. And when she made such suggestions, she did it in an overly deferential way. “Do you think you could consider…” she would say, over the phone, sounding like a Grade 8 student begging a favour from someone in Grade 12. Or, “I’m not sure about this, but do you think you could…”

I can no longer remember the specifics of her edits, but I will never forget her tone: tentative, apologetic and doubtful. This attitude is not the kind anyone wants from an editor. Instead, we want feedback from people who feel confident and sound as though they know exactly what they are doing.

We are seldom lucky enough, however, to work with a perfect editor. Such a person might bat 1,000 on the following list of traits:

1. Polite
2. Kind
3. Insightful
4. Thoughtful
5. Respectful
6. Concerned about the writer’s growth and development
7. Someone with an ear for clarity

How many editors like that are around? Not very many! Instead, we have to deal with the less-than-perfect people we encounter. This real-life demand sometimes makes us nervous and distrustful of all editors. But the point of my post today is that we can still learn from them, even the unpleasant ones, no matter how much we may dislike their style.

Have you ever heard of the Dunning-Kruger effect? This psychological term refers to people of low ability (in anything — but today we’re talking specifically about writers) who have the impression that they’re actually pretty good at the task. In short, they cannot recognize how incompetent they are at something.

On the other hand — and much more common among writers — are the people who under-estimate their ability to do something. I’ve written about this in my post on imposter syndrome.

Overall, as human beings, we’re pretty terrible at evaluating our strengths and weaknesses. But here’s the interesting point: Researchers such as David Dunning (Cornell), Steven Heine (UBC) and Larry Gruppen (University of Michigan Medical School) have found that both over- and under-confidence arise from the absence of accurate feedback.

So, when you face feedback from any editor, don’t blame them for their style (as I did), no matter how inept. Instead, focus on what you can learn from the exchange.

It’s always challenging to hear negative feedback. Most often, we try to shut it out. Indeed, our bodies do this automatically — we tense, we breathe more rapidly, we sweat — and after a brief time, our ears stop listening. Instead, we’re more likely to hear a soundtrack in our heads saying something like: “This person is a jerk. Why do I have to listen to this nonsense? I know way more than they do about this story…” 

If you’re receiving negative feedback, frame it so it helps you become a better writer in the future. What do I mean by “frame it”? Wharton School of business prof Adam Grant addresses this issue in a terrific podcast episode on “How to Love Criticism.”

At the very end of this fascinating show, he offers an easy and super-smart suggestion. After every criticism (or edit) we receive, we should give ourselves a second score. Our first score is the edit itself, but our second — and far more important score — is how we responded to the edit.

Did we take it with grace and equanimity — no matter how rude or vile the editor might have been? And did we learn something important and measurable that will change our behaviour in the future? If we can answer yes to both questions, we’ve become better writers and likely better people as well.

I love the idea of a second score because it suggests a second chance — a way of improving a situation that might have been uncomfortable or distasteful and still getting value from it.

In short, it’s a good way of making negative feedback positive.

An earlier version of this post first appeared on my blog on June 26/18.

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Need some help developing a better writing routine? Learn more about my Get It Done program. There is turn-over each month, and priority will go to those who have applied first. You can go directly to the application form and you’ll hear from me within 24 hours.

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My video podcast last week addressed how to write with a partner. Go here to see the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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Have you ever worked at making negative feedback positive? We can all learn from each other, so please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the “comments” section below. If you comment on today’s post (or any others) by Aug. 31/24, I’ll put you in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To enter, please scroll down to the comments, directly underneath the “related posts” links, below. Note that you don’t have to join Disqus to post. See here to learn how to post as a guest. It’s easy!

Viewing time: 5 mins. 4 secs. 

The Write Question is a weekly video podcast about writing that I started in 2017 and that ran, more or less weekly, until April 2022. This is a republication of issue #102, which addresses when using jargon does and doesn’t make sense. The post first ran on Aug. 2/19.

Transcript:  

Welcome to The Write Question, I’m Daphne Gray-Grant and today I address the topic:  does using jargon ever make sense? 

I have a question from Maithili Dokuparti, a clinical researcher based in Bangalore, India. Here’s the question, which arrived on my desk via email: 

“For writers, how important is it to adopt jargon specific to the domain in which they’re working?  I have recently started working for a life sciences technology company. Although I find it relatively easy to understand most of the concepts, some specific terminology — such as “implementation ” and “product lifecycle” — means very specific things in my industry. Does it make sense for me to incorporate such jargon in my writing and, if so, how do you suggest I do that?” 

Thanks for your question, Maithili. Actually, I have two quite different answers for you. Which one you accept depends entirely on who you are writing for. 

If your audience is general — the public — you really want to avoid using jargon as much as possible. Jargon excludes people and frustrates them. 

To help everyone watching this video really understand those feelings of exclusion, here’s an example of some jargon: 

When you join us for the Sitz, please assemble at the SD no later than 1:30 pm. Our ASM will meet you and escort you HL. After the first run he will be able to show you the pit, the flies and tormentors in the wings, the cyc, and try out the cross. 

Did you get that? 

That burst of jargon comes from the world of opera. My son trained as an opera singer and he gave me this example to use with my clients. Here’s what it really means: 

When you come to the first rehearsal with the orchestra meet at the stage door no later than 1:30. Our assistant stage manager will meet you and escort you to the left side of the stage. After the first run-through he’ll show you the pit where the orchestra sits, the props and sets, the black curtain, the backdrop and the special place where singers can walk across the stage without being seen by the audience. 

Now that I’ve put that text into plain English, doesn’t seem to make a lot more sense to you? The issue with jargon is that it’s useful for people who already know the jargon, and frustrating for those who don’t know it. 

This is why, if your writing job is to communicate with outsiders — these might be government officials, stockholders, or simply the public — you shouldn’t use jargon. It’s only going to confuse and alienate them. 

On the other hand, if you’re writing for insiders — people for whom this kind of vocabulary is a type of shorthand — then yes, you should use it because it will only increase your clarity and precision. 

I used to work in the newspaper business and we had lots of jargon: lede, kicker, banner, clip art, cold type, colour key, copy desk, dateline, folio. These words all meant very specific things to us and using them saved time. But we never used these words with outsiders because they’d have difficulty understanding them. 

One other point, Maithili, you are particularly useful to your company right now because you haven’t yet ABSORBED the meaning of all the jargon. This means that you’ll be in a perfect position to decide whether any communications efforts the company is considering are understandable to outsiders. 

If, for internal communications purposes, you want to become more familiar with the jargon your company uses, start by creating a glossary for yourself. See link below for more details. Don’t try to finish the glossary in a couple of days. Give yourself a generous amount of time — say six weeks — and be sure to include all the terms you want to learn and all the important definitions for them. 

It’s not likely you’ll ever need to consult this glossary yourself — writing it down will cement the knowledge in your own mind. But it will give you a chance to review it with someone who’s worked at the company longer than you. 

Finally, let me wrap up with a quote from the German philosopher and sociologist, Theodor Adorno: “Words of the jargon sound as if they said something higher than what they mean.” 

Maithili, jargon is neither all good nor all bad. There are reasons for it and places to use it. Just don’t use it with the public.

Link 

How to write a glossary

Reading time: About 4 minutes

Clients often ask me if their writing is “professional enough.” Here’s how to know if your writing is good enough to make the grade…

I used to read a blog written by someone who had serious writing challenges. I was interested in her content, so I usually forced myself to ignore her writing lapses, even when they grated.

The worst? She regularly used the phrase, “Don’t fall on your franny.” (See photo, above). I winced every time I read her error, and I visualized a poor woman named Franny being crushed by all the people pitching headlong on top of her.

Many readers pointed out the problem to this writer — in her comments section. The correct word is “fanny,” they told her. (And here’s an interesting aside: In the U.S. and Canada, the word refers to your rear end, but in most other countries, it means female genitals. The origin of the term is thought to rest with the name of the heroine in the scandalous 1748 novel Fanny Hill or Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure.)

But instead of politely correcting the error, the blogger delivered a cringe-worthy post, blaming her readers for being so “perfectionistic.”

I unsubscribed immediately. Now, I cannot even remember her name, but in the spirit of mischievousness, let’s call her Franny.

The seven rules of professional writing

Franny disobeyed at least two of the rules of professional writing. See if you can spot them below….

1-Focus on extraordinary verbs

Grade-school teachers often encourage students to make their writing more interesting by adding splashy adjectives and adverbs. When I was in school, I remember doing endless worksheets on this task (and I always hated it).

Then, when I graduated into the newspaper business, I learned that my teachers had been wrong. Good writing has almost nothing to do with adjectives and adverbs. In fact, many professional writers believe these parts of speech simply display amateur enthusiasm. The professionals are the people who concentrate on their verbs.

Look, for example, at these two sentences from the very fine book The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead (I’ve highlighted the verbs in bold): “A careful pattern of colored stones decorated the station beneath Lumbly’s farm, and wooden slabs covered the walls of Sam’s station. The builders of this stop had hacked and blasted it from the unforgiving earth and made no attempt or adornment to showcase the difficulty of their feat.”

Many beginning writers have the verbs “to be” and “to have” stuck to their writing like static dust. They don’t know what else to use. If you want to take your writing to the next level, focus on your verbs. And once you’ve done that, attend to your nouns.

Winston Churchill illustrated that plain, Anglo-Saxon nouns are some of the most powerful words in the English language. Recall his famous speech, “We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender…” Those beaches, landing grounds, fields, streets and hills are everyday words that conjure clear images in your mind’s eye. They are words that hold power.

2-Use transitions with aplomb

Bridges, connectors or transitions are the words, phrases and stylistic devices that help direct readers through our writing. Beginning writers seldom use them; professional writers lace their work with them. If you want to learn more about transitions, check out my earlier blog post on the topic.

Know that adding a transition can be as simple as adding a single word — “but” is my favourite. (My post also lists 82 other such words or phrases.) But adding a transition can also be as complex as carefully paraphrasing a quote before you give it. To me, stylish transitions are a hallmark of professional writing.

3-Display clarity with antecedents

I promise, I won’t get all grammar-geeky on you, but an antecedent is a word or phrase that gives meaning to a pronoun. Consider the following sentences: “Mary Ann took her dog for a walk. She found the exercise tiring.” Mary Ann is the proper noun, and “she” is the pronoun. In this construction, it’s very clear that Mary Ann is the person who finds the exercise tiring.

Now, look at this sentence: “The suitcase was on the plane; now it’s gone.” But what exactly is gone? Is it the suitcase or the plane? This is an example of an unclear antecedent. Beginning writers are frequently unclear with their antecedents; professional writers, almost never. (Tip: Before submitting a story or a paper, always search your text for the word “it” and make sure that all of its antecedents are clear.)

4-Lard your writing with stories

The human mind loves stories and tension. We are all hard-wired to want to know how any story is going to end — even if the ending is predictable. (Why do you think murder mysteries remain such a staple of literature?)

If you’ve ever been lucky enough to see a superb speech, I can guarantee that the speaker stuffed their remarks full of stories. Stories aren’t just for children; if the stories are interesting enough, they’re for adults, too. Notice how I began this post with a story.

5-Use a style that matches your readership

If you’re writing a dissertation, your vocabulary and writing style should be very different than if you’re writing a blog post. This does not make one writing style better than the other — a professional works hard to match the writing to the audience.

Should you use contractions? Never, in a thesis. Always, in writing for a general audience. Should you use acronyms? Perhaps, if your readers are certain to be familiar with them. Never, if your readers will find them puzzling. (Or at the very least, be sure to provide a definition.) Make sure you write to please your audience rather than yourself.

6-Weed out errors 

I don’t want to be hypocritical because I know my blog posts sometimes have typos, and I regard myself as a professional. Still, I work hard to avoid such mistakes. Part of the problem is that our brains have an “auto correct” function. When we proofread our own work, our brains see what we intended to write rather than what’s really there.

In recent months, I’ve hired a professional copy editor to review my blogs before they’re posted. This arrangement makes me feel so much more comfortable about material that’s going out under my name. Still, despite this effort, mistakes may occasionally slip through. No one, not even a professional editor, is perfect. That’s why point #7 is so important…

7-Accept criticism with grace

Most of my readers are very kind and polite when they point out errors. (And here I give thanks to reader Patty Nestor who kindly alerted me to an error in one of my posts.) But even if readers aren’t as kind, I always give profuse thanks. And I mean it! I’m happy because their effort allows me to correct the error, which I do immediately.

Professional writers never quibble with fixing errors; they know that there’s something much more valuable than their pride in one story: the chance to become an even better writer.

How to know if your writing is good

As you may have guessed by now, Franny’s mistakes were #6 and #7 — her unwillingness to weed out errors and her unwillingness to accept criticism.

They sealed her fate as an amateur. But you don’t need to doom yourself to a similar label. With a little effort, you, too, can become a professional writer.

An earlier version of this post first appeared on my blog on Jan. 10/17.

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My video podcast last week addressed how to make more time for writing. Go here to see the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.

*

Need some help developing a better writing routine? Learn more about my Get It Done program. There is turn over each month, and priority will go to those who have applied first. You can go directly to the application form and you’ll hear back from me within 24 hours.

*

What do you do to figure out how to know if your writing is good? We can all learn from each other so, please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the “comments” section below. If you comment on today’s post (or any others) by Oct. 31/23 I’ll put you in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To enter, please scroll down to the comments, directly underneath the “related posts” links, below. Note that you don’t have to join Disqus to post. See here to learn how to post as a guest. It’s easy!

Reading time: About 4 minutes

Shortening sentences — or, at least editing longer ones — is a great trick for making your writing more accessible to more readers…

When I lead a writing workshop with a sizeable group of engineers or business people, I notice that many of them write sentences that are way too long.

What’s too long?

The answer may surprise you.

Measure in averages rather than absolutes

You want an average sentence length of just 14 to 18 words. Some people argue with me when I make this suggestion. They think they’ll end up sounding like the dumb reading books we used back when I was a student in grade school.

In those days, the main characters were always white, of course, and their names were Dick and Jane. They had a dog named Spot and the plot development featured mind-numbing plot twists like, “See Dick run.”

Perhaps because of the trauma of early exposure to such works, many writers don’t understand the value of short sentences. In fact, I always have clients who say things like, “Dostoyevsky [or any other famous author] wrote long sentences and everyone praised him for it. Why can’t I?”

Well, you can, but are you convinced you can write as well as Dostoyevsky? And even if you can, are you aware that even as general literacy has increased, our ability to read and understand long sentences has decreased over the last four centuries?

I posted about this decline several years ago, but here’s a summary of how preferred sentence word-count length has evolved…

• Pre-Elizabethan times: 50 words
• Elizabethan times: 45 words
• Victorian times: 29 words
• Early 20th century: 23 words
• Today: 14 to 18 words

For this reason, you don’t want your sentences to be like the girl in the photo at the top of this page — desperate to grow taller.

Not ALL long sentences are problematic

That said, not every long sentence needs to be short. The best writing always shows a variety of sentence lengths, ranging from 60 words to as few as one. You simply should attend to the average. And there’s no need for you to calculate this number yourself.

Instead, use an online tool to help you. I’ve road-tested most available pieces of software doing this, and I favour ProWritingAid. It costs (I am not a reseller), but it’s not expensive and there is a free version you can use for up to 500 words. I also like no-cost Character Counter. (Words per sentence is the second measure on the chart.) I no longer like the Hemingway App because it regards every long sentence as a problem, which is untrue.

If your average is more than 20, here’s how to shorten your sentences:

Split super-long sentences in two

Here is an example, as easy as simply adding an extra period in the middle of the sentence:

• The government can now better understand the potential location and impact of where the biggest earthquakes will occur within a 1.5 million square kilometre area and is using the information to assess and prioritize seismic upgrades at its facilities. (39 words)

becomes

• The government can now better understand the potential location and impact of where the biggest earthquakes will occur within a 1.5 million square kilometre area. [25 words] It is using the information to assess and prioritize seismic upgrades at its facilities. [14 words]

Cut redundant words 

We’re often inefficient with our language, using more words than necessary. Consider the following phrases:

• “Circle around” can become “circle”
• “Write down” can become “write”
• “Added bonus” is simply a “bonus”
• “Get to the point as quickly as possible” is really “get to the point”
• “Close proximity” is “close”
• “During the course of” is “during” 

Focus on cutting out unnecessary words and you’ll be using a relatively easy way of trimming your sentence length.

Avoid adverbs 

Adverbs clutter up your copy. You can usually live without them. Here are some examples:

• “That’s usually a good thing to do.”
• “That’s fairly good coffee.”
• “I totally agree”
• “Actually, I disagree.”

Just delete all those italicized words and you’ll be able to shorten your sentence.

Use the active voice 

We sometimes fall into the passive voice, where the “actor” of the sentence goes into hiding. Here is a famous example:

• Mistakes were made.

Who made those mistakes? We don’t know! Thus, the sentence is passive. The only good thing about this example is that it’s short!

Typically, however, passive voice makes sentences longer, usually including a clause with the word “by.” For example,

• The man was bitten by the dog. [passive voice – seven words]

This sentence is easier to read and understand if you shorten it by making it active:

• The dog bit the man [active voice – five words]

If you make the habit of preferring active voice, you’ll usually have shorter sentences. Given that it’s sometimes challenging to identify passive voice, I usually like to let software do the work for me. ProWritingAid does a good job of identifying passive voice.

Avoid words ending in –tion 

What do the words “creation,” “rumination,” “abbreviation” and “collaboration” have in common, besides ending in –tion? They all started their lives as perfectly good verbs:

• create
• ruminate
• abbreviate
• collaborate

But when you turn them into nouns you need to add a new verb to the sentence to make it work. Usually, this verb is boring, like “to be” or “to do” or “to make.” Instead of adding these unnecessary words, try to return to the original verb. Here’s an example:

• He wrote on architecture in collaboration with John Betjeman.

• He collaborated with John Betjeman, writing about architecture.

I like to use my search key (Command + F on a Mac) to look for words ending in –tion. Whenever I find one, I work to see if I can turn it back into a verb.

Strive to add additional shorter sentences — really short ones

If you ever want to drive down an average, add some items that are dramatically shorter, less expensive, or less significant. With writing, you need some sentences with a one-to-five word-count. How do you do that?

I just did!

“How do you do that?” is a five-word sentence. And, “I just did” is a three-word one. Here are some other super-short sentences you can consider:

• How?
• Why?
• When?
• Why not?
• What’s going on?
• What happened? 

Always try to work some of these super-short sentences into your writing, and you will see your average tumble to more reasonable levels.

Learning to shorten your sentences is one of the best tricks you can use to turn yourself into a dramatically better and more effective self-editor.

This is a substantially updated version of a post that first appeared on my blog on Feb. 13/18.

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My video podcast last week aimed to take the mystery out of sticky sentences. Go here to see the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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Do you shorten your sentences? What’s your favourite trick for doing it? We can all learn from each other so, please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the “comments” section, below. Anyone who comments on today’s post (or any others) by March 31/23 will be put in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To leave your own comment, please, scroll down to the section, directly underneath the “related posts” links, below. Note that you don’t have to join the commenting software to post. See here to learn how to post as a guest. It’s easy!

Viewing time: 3 min. 58 sec.

The Write Question is a weekly video podcast about writing that I started in 2017 and that ran, more or less weekly, until April 2022. This is a republication of issue #49, about sticky writing. The post first ran on March 9/18.

Transcript:

Welcome to The Write Question, I’m Daphne Gray-Grant. Today we’re talking about sticky writing.

I’m answering a question from Rodolfo Villanueva in Auckland, New Zealand. Here’s what he’s asked.

[recording] My name is Rodolpho and I’m calling you from New Zealand just to ask: What do you mean by sticky writing? Thank you

Thanks for the question, Rodolfo. “Sticky writing” is such an evocative phrase that it gets people’s attention.

Even though I’ve talked about it before — check out the link below — I’m going to do it again because the term is relatively new.

In fact, if you do a Google search for “sticky writing” you’ll find that my own post on the subject usually comes up either first or second.

Let me read some examples of sticky words:

•       So
•       If
•       Than
•       But
•       About
•       In
•       On
•       The
•       Was
•       For
•       That
•       Said
•       A
•       Of
•       To there
•       Will
•       Be
•       What
•       Get
•       Go
•       Think
•       Just
•       Every

What do these words have in common? I’d say the main thing is they don’t give you a visual image when I say them.

For example, if I say the words, “dog,” “desk,” or “ice cream cone,” you probably visualize each of those things.

But if I say the word “what,” or “every” you won’t get any visual image at all.

That’s a problem because human beings are very visual creatures. A large percentage of our brain dedicates itself to visual processing. Did you know that 40% of all nerve fibres connected to the brain are linked to the retina — the light-sensitive tissue lining the back of our eye? Images grab our attention easily and we are immediately drawn to them.

This is just one of the reasons why so many people consider Winston Churchill to be one of the best speech writers ever. He knew to fill his speeches with concrete words. Listen to this recording.

“We shall never surrender, and even if, which I do not for a moment believe, this Island or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our Empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the British Fleet, would carry on the struggle, until, in God’s good time, the New World, with all its power and might, steps forth to the rescue and the liberation of the old.”

Many of his words are short and concrete. They give clear visual images. He uses very few sticky words.  

You know the expression, a photo is worth a thousand words? Writers need to attend to that message, too.

But be aware your aim is not to write WITHOUT sticky words. You just want to keep them to a minimum.

Ideally, your sentences should contain fewer than 45% sticky or “glue” words. If they contain more, rewrite them to improve their clarity. Here’s an example.

Morgan walked over into the second-hand car lot in order to see if there was a car she could buy for getting herself to her new job.

The length of that sentence is 27 words.

Now, here’s an improved version: Morgan checked the second-hand car lot for a car she could buy to drive to work.

Do you see how that new sentence is much shorter? It’s only 16 words. And it’s much easier to read and understand.

Finally, while we’re on the subject of sticky writing, let me wrap up with a quote from editor Naomi Tepper: “Cluttering your writing with unnecessary words will only hide your meaning and create additional work for the reader.

Thanks for your question, Rodolfo. I hope this video helps you unstick your writing.

Links: 

How can I improve my fluency

Do you use too many sticky words?

If you want to become a better proofreader, here are some easy-to-use tips that will make a big difference for you…

Do you clean your own gutters? Change the oil in your own car? Bake every birthday cake from scratch? I’m guessing you don’t do many — if any — of these things.

And you shouldn’t proofread, either.

Proofreading is a specialized job requiring someone with talent and training. I’m not a natural proofer myself, but I know how to hire an excellent professional proofreader. They should cost about $30 to $45/hour, depending on their experience and where they live.

But if I must proofread, I can do it using the following tricks. You can use them, too:

Allow some time to pass before you start proofreading

We all make unconscious mistakes and they are hard to spot because our brains automatically correct the errors. I view this tendency of my brain as somewhat similar to the auto-correct function on my cellphone. And it’s equally annoying!

You may have meant to write trickier but somehow it came out as tricker. Or you thought you were writing the word off and it came out as of.

The trouble is, because you’re already familiar with the story, your eye will glide right by these mistakes. If you take a break before proofing, however, you’re far more likely to catch the problems.

Proofread on paper

In part, because using a computer shines a light in our eyes, we all read material on screen much more quickly and less carefully than we do in print.

This slapdash habit — of scanning instead of reading — has been reinforced by the way most of us scroll through sites on the internet, Facebook and Instagram. But you can break the habit if you print out your work before proofing it. The human eye will always catch more errors if they are in front of you, in stationary black and white.

For onscreen proofing, use a distinctive type and size

I know there may be occasions when you have no choice but to proof on screen. Here’s a secret that will dramatically increase your ability to spot errors: Use a distinctive typeface like Papyrus (it looks a bit like tidy and easy-to-read handwriting). Further, bump the type-size up to 18 or 20 point so the words are LARGE.

These two changes will make it far easier for you to catch any common errors and perhaps even some grammatical mistakes.

Pay extra attention to names, addresses and dates

When I was a senior editor at a metropolitan daily newspaper, my boss told me he regarded a misspelled name as a “firing offence.” (He was wrong. Union rules made it difficult to fire anyone.) But as someone with a difficult-to-spell name, I know how important spelling is. Spelling someone’s name correctly is a sign of respect. It’s worth a double check or maybe even a triple check.

As for addresses, if you send your readers to the wrong place, they will be plenty peeved. Triple check addresses, for sure. Finally, be aware the single most common mistake in publishing is to mismatch days with dates. (For example: saying Thursday, Feb. 15, if in fact the day is a Wednesday.) If the material you’re proofreading contains a date, it’s essential you get that date right. Triple check.

Review graphics, as well

Don’t forget to check what I call the big yet somehow invisible stuff. By this, I mean logos, company names, and extra-large headlines. Ironically, the bigger the type, the more likely you are to miss a typo.

Somehow, we believe that if a graphic has been included, there can’t possibly be any spelling mistakes in it. That assumption is misguided. Once, I oversaw a publication’s rebranding which involved having a new logo designed. A half-dozen of us (including a professional proofreader) missed the misspelling of the company’s name — because it was in a logo. Fortunately, someone at the printing office caught the error, and we were all spared much embarrassment.

Start at the end

Professional proofreaders often read at least once backwards. No, I don’t mean they read the words backwards. I mean, they read the last sentence first. Then the second last sentence, then the third last sentence, and so on …until they work their way back to the beginning.

This style of reading forces them to approach the text out of context – breaking the familiarity with the piece that might otherwise cause them to miss errors.

Put a ruler underneath each line as you read

A ruler isn’t just for measuring. Or for rapping your knuckles. It’s also a great focusing device.

Putting a ruler (or a piece of cardboard) under your text forces you to read much more slowly and stops your eyes from jumping ahead. If you take this step, you will definitely catch more errors and do far more effective proofreading.

Consider what might be missing

This might sound strange to you, but sometimes what’s missing from a document can be even more important than any of the existing text. For instance, if the piece you’re proofreading requires an RSVP, it also needs a phone number or e-mail address to which someone can respond. It should also have the date of the event and an address.

Catching essential omissions is just as important as fixing any errors.

Check your own common spelling or grammatical mistakes

I once worked with a charming and very smart reporter who refused to learn the difference between its and it’s. (It’s is always short for “it is.”) I have also known people who habitually confused “affect” and “effect.”

My own most common error is that I usually get book titles or movie titles ever so slightly wrong. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve called the charming memoir Too Close to the Falls by Catherine Gildiner, After the Falls. (Just checked the spelling of her last name again and saw it’s Gildiner — not Gildener — which is what I’d put here originally. Sigh. At least I caught it this time.

If you’ve written for more than six months, you should be aware of the errors you typically make. Look for them!

Read your work aloud at least once

If you force yourself to read aloud while you’re proofing, you’ll catch a lot more errors. Why? We speak more slowly that we can read. A typical native English-speaker talks at a rate of about 150 to 160 words per minute, but reads at a rate of somewhere between 200 and 300 wpm.

Reading aloud forces you to read more slowly, which means you will be able to catch more mistakes.

Have your computer read your work back to you

One of the very best ways to catch mistakes in your writing is to have your computer do the heavy-lifting for you. I write using Microsoft Word (on a Mac). If I go to the “review” tab and select “read aloud,” my computer will read the piece to me.

Granted, the voice is monotone and fake-sounding, but when it voices errors, believe me, I hear them. I highly recommend getting into the habit of having your computer read to you.

Some people are natural proofreaders. Errors jump off the page and grab them by the eyeballs. I’m just not wired that way so I use the tricks I’ve just described to help myself catch more mistakes. You can use them, too.

I’ve substantially rewritten this post based on a version first published here in August 2017.

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My video podcast last week addressed which is better: regular or self-publishing. Go here to see the video or read the transcript, and you can also subscribe to my YouTube channel.

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Need some help developing a better writing routine? Learn more about my Get It Done program. There is turn-over each month, and priority will go to those who have applied first. You can go directly to the application form and you’ll hear back from me within 24 hours.

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How do you make yourself a better proofreader? We can all learn from each other so, please, share your thoughts with my readers and me in the “comments” section below.  Anyone who comments on today’s post (or any others) by Feb. 28/23 will be put in a draw for a digital copy of my first book, 8 1/2 Steps to Writing Faster, Better. To enter, please scroll down to the comments, directly underneath the “related posts” links, below. Note that you don’t have to join Disqus to post. See here to learn how to post as a guest. It’s easy!

Reading time: Less than 2 minutes

This is my weekly installment of “writing about writing,” in which I scan the world to find websites, books and articles to help other writers. Today I discuss a blog post about editing too much…

Writers tend to fall into one of two categories:

They love writing and they hate editing. Or, they hate writing and they love editing. If you fall into the second category (which is the much more common one, by the way) you may have difficulty in stopping editing. How do you know when good enough is actually good enough? How can you ever be certain when it’s time to stop.

Writer Audrey Kalman addresses the question of when to stop editing in a recent post on Jane Friedman’s excellent website. The headline is: “How to Free Yourself from Endless Revision.”

I particularly liked the way Kalman identified three different problems leading to endless revision. And of course, each problem requires its own solution. Here’s what she said:

Problem #1: You have a dead engine. Sometimes called the story engine, spark or problem this concept represents the story’s underlying logic — the question that keeps readers turning pages. If you don’t know that that question is, you’re going to have difficulty finishing your editing. To solve this problem, Kalman suggests taking a break from your writing or otherwise leaving your comfort zone, perhaps by changing your writing locations, rewriting the story as a poem or putting each plot point on an index card, throwing the cards in the air, and reassembling them in the new order.

Problem #2: You’re worrying that there must be something more. You wonder if your structure is right, whether the book should be organized around different themes, or whether you should go back to a completely new drawing board. If you’re in this situation, Kalman suggests examining your motivations. Why are you  writing the book? Go beyond surface-level answers to explore the deeper question. And if you can’t answer it, consider getting professional help — whether that’s an editor or a mental health professional.

Problem #3: Fear of finishing up. Are you simply unwilling to let your book go?  If that’s your issue Kalman has four suggestions: First, work to decouple the book from your identity. Second, accept the idea of  a good-enough book and let go of the need for unachievable perfection. Third, get excited about a new project. (Nothing helps like distraction!) Fourth, find a support system.

As Kalman puts it, if you want to stop editing too much, “find fellow writers who can remind you of why you’re writing and help subdue the internal voices insisting that your book won’t be worthy unless you work on it for another five years.”

Viewing time: 4 minutes and 13 seconds

The Write Question is a weekly video podcast about writing that I started in 2017 and that ran, more or less weekly, until April 2022. This is a republication of issue #8, about how to switch from writing to editing, which first ran on March 10/17.

Transcript: 

Welcome to The Write Question, the video-podcast designed to answer your questions about writing. I’m Daphne Gray-Grant.

Today I have a question from Lisa Hartley from Vancouver, British Columbia, where I live. Lisa is a celebrant who conducts weddings and end of life ceremonies. For the last six months she’s been working on book about her mother’s life and her own experiences as a celebrant and here’s what she asked me: “I’m at the point of editing my book right now and I don’t know how to go about it. I feel as though I’m just pushing words and sentences around and I’m not convinced I’m making them any better. What do you suggest I do?”

Thanks for the question, Lisa. Transitions are always hard and, because we’ve spoken personally, I know that you don’t find writing difficult. But let me tell you a secret.

I’m convinced the world can be divided into two categories: Those who prefer writing and those who prefer editing. I’d suggest that only 20% of the world falls into the former category and some 80% land in the latter.

You’re fortunate to be in the more exclusive catagory, but that does mean you’ll struggle more with editing.

Just like the number of books in the Harry Potter series, I have seven tips for you to help your editing.

#1: Be sure you define your readership before you edit: Who is going to read your book? What type of information will be most useful to them? You probably sorted this out before you wrote, of course, but you also need to review it before you edit — to keep yourself on track.

#2: Understand that you’re a natural writer. You should expect to find editing difficult. I don’t mean that you should be daunted by it. If it’s hard or uncomfortable don’t suspect that you’re doing something wrong.

#3: Do your editing first thing in the day. Motivational author Brian Tracy calls this “eating your frogs,” by which he means doing the most difficult things first. Have a frog for breakfast and everything else you eat that day is going to seem so much easier and so much more delicious.

#4 Give yourself super short time goals. Set a timer for only 5 minutes of editing — barely enough time to turn on your computer — and do no more than that for at least 10 days. From there, work yourself up to 15, 30 and finally 60 minutes. This is called the Kaizen method, and I’ll link to an article about it in the description.

#5 Give yourself plenty of rewards. These rewards can be simple and inexpensive, like buying yourself a coffee, getting yourself flowers or giving yourself more time to watch videos about writing on YouTube.

#6: Start using what I call the multiple pass system. This means looking for one problem at a time. For example, I might spend one edit simply looking for — and eliminating — clichés. Then I might spend another checking sentence length, and a third trying to reduce wordiness. I know this sounds like a more work but it’s actually faster to concentrate on just one thing at a time.

And #7: Find yourself some “beta readers”: Once you have the draft to a certain level of excellence, share it with some trusted friends and ask them to give you some constructive criticism. Their feedback will be invaluable to you because they will have fresh eyes and will see things quite differently.

Finally, let me conclude with a quote from the French novelist Colette. She said: “Put down everything that comes into your head and then you’re a writer. But an author is one who can judge his own stuff’s worth, without pity, and destroy most of it.”

Thanks for your question, Lisa. Good luck with your editing.

Thanks so much for watching. If YOU have a question, you can email, tweet, or skype me. You can find the details in the description below along with any resources I’ve mentioned. And don’t forget to like and subscribe to the video.

Links:

Lisa Hartley 

Kaizen technique