Well put! I think the important issue to understand is that our autonomic (eg: “automatic) nervous system predisposes us to shut down whenever we get negative feedback. As a result, we need a clearly defined strategy to be able to view it as an opportunity to improve ourselves.

If only, we view negative feedback as an opportunity to improve ourselves, we can make the whole transaction a positive experience and less scary for the brain.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts — and your own experience with negative feedback, Abby. I really like the “Second Score” idea because it helps defuse any trauma. There is no need to “swallow.” Instead, there is value in acting bravely and then DECIDING (rationally) whether there is any merit to the feedback. In an interesting kind of way, Second Score turns ALL of us into actors!

In my work and creative life, I have also been an actress and a documentarian – which means I have faced plenty of criticism. Some of it is painful, though I usually just swallow it silently – and then beat myself up afterwards for not pushing back. What a relief to learn a different process.