Comments on: A step-by-step guide to better sentence length

By: Fred

Fred — Sun, 27 Aug 2017 14:17:00 +0000

In reply to Daphne Gray-Grant. Great! Looking forward to hearing about it. Thanks!

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Sun, 27 Aug 2017 00:37:00 +0000

In reply to Fred. Watch for my blog post on Monday, Fred. I have a new app to suggest. Way better than the Hemingway app and even better than online-utility.org, too!

By: Fred

Fred — Sat, 26 Aug 2017 14:46:00 +0000

Christopher’s information about Hemingway’s 424 word sentence was fascinating. I wonder what his median word count per sentence was. I’ve used the Hemingway app that Daphne has recommended here before and found it tended to drive my writing toward choppiness. I do like the features that point out too many adverbs, use of the passive voice, and suggested targets for simplification.

The online-utility.org app has been more helpful to me for managing sentence length. For checking on clarity, rhythm, and sentence length, reading aloud really helps.

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Thu, 24 Aug 2017 15:27:00 +0000

In reply to Dana Bolink. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I use sentence fragments only rarely, to achieve a specific point (perhaps emphasis). Otherwise, I think sentence fragments are confusing for most readers.

By: Dana Bolink

Dana Bolink — Thu, 24 Aug 2017 04:35:00 +0000

In reply to Daphne Gray-Grant. I agree that it is a fragment. But why is this a problem?

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Wed, 23 Aug 2017 14:44:00 +0000

In reply to Marina Chelak. Yes, different languages all work out to different lengths. I'm not familiar with Russian but I know that German words are a lot longer than English ones because of the way they are created. Perhaps Russian is the same? In any case, the length of the language might be related to word length or sentence length. I'm not sure!

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Wed, 23 Aug 2017 14:42:00 +0000

In reply to Dana Bolink. Hmm, my main issue with the first sentence that you've suggested is that it's a fragment. No subject (who's doing the promoting?) and no declined verb ("to promote" is an infinitive.)

By: Daphne Gray-Grant

Daphne Gray-Grant — Wed, 23 Aug 2017 14:39:00 +0000

In reply to Jagadish Kumar. To be fair, I don't think most people use long sentences to show how sophisticated they are. Instead, I think they do it because they've never thought about the value of short sentences and the importance of a variety of sentence lengths.

By: Dana Bolink

Dana Bolink — Wed, 23 Aug 2017 09:17:00 +0000

Great post about something I used to struggle with as a journalist all the time.
In journalism space comes at a premium, so cramming as much information into as little words as possible without losing readability was the game of the day. The second long sentence seems to be a perfect example of that. I would’ve probably edited it a bit differently though, for in journalism the news must always come first. And the most important or interesting news even before that. Therefore, I’d have probably written:

To promote awareness of international values and principles related to the safe and humane treatment of offenders. This was the goal of a delegation of five American correctional officials who went to Shanghai and Beijing, China from July 17 to Aug. 1.

By: Jagadish Kumar

Jagadish Kumar — Wed, 23 Aug 2017 04:21:00 +0000

Daphne is right that we choose long sentences to show how sophisticated we are and to rush our point. But, they put a burden on the reader. It’s always better to use short sentences in the recommended range of 14-18 words and insert a long one for the sake of a variety.